NOTICE TO READERS

THIS A MESSAGE FROM THE WELSH BOARD OF INTERACTION AND COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES (FORMERLY TECHNOLOGY AND EMPOWERMENT).

The Nappy Cove town blog was put in stasis some time ago by the Welsh Secretary of Secular Matters and Public Appropriateness due to its purported contribution to violent acts in the region.
As followers of the blog will have noticed, it became a forum for accusations of a legal nature which was deemed to violate the 1983 Vlbrgsm Fra ( literally 'Freedom of Brain-use Act').

While some of the accusations about D-grade pork saw investigations and legal resolution, leading to the house-arrest of Mr. Hyman Roth, the murders surrounding the scandal remain unsolved.

It is with cautious optimism that the Welsh Board of Interaction and Community Activities announce the re-openingment to publication of this blog to the townspeople.

I invite those in the town to update the wider world of occurances in Nappy Cove, while remaining mindful of the implications of their statements, and we, of said wider world, look forward to enjoying once again this entertaining reality internet soap-opera.

GLBWASMIG LLASMBS

END OF MESSAGE

Ashi Khan

Ashi Khan is not a violent man. When I left Multan to seek fortune in this foreign land I knew that there would be many would try to undercut me at every turn. But no more! Allah and God be praised!!

I must proclaimed faithfully my innocence in this latest Pork scandel-mongering. I am no crooked-Annie! All the Delhi Deli products are 100% best quality. I believe what we eat in this world shall sustain us through the next life. Because of this philosophy I only serve food items of superior standards!

Now Mr. Roth, the kitaab is on your page!!

Charlie Whippet

'allo 'allo' allo! Oi'm Charlie Whippet, the local Postie! Oi'meant to gerr'on this thing sooner but oi ditn't 'ave no time sir. An' then wiv all this talk ah missin' tapes an' me not deliv'rin 'em oi said I'd better set things straight. Oi got them there tapes to Olivia an' I can say as sure as an'thing that they wer real. So that's that!

Now the nex' thing I wanna say is that there's bin a lota strange packages comin' through the Office the last few weeks. Real strange... Like this wan that 'ad a big 'D' stamped on it goin' to wan of the local pork shops (though I can't say which wan coz oi I endin' up like that Peeves fellow!)Oi sed it ter Olivia tho so s'pose she'll sort it all owt.

Right-oh me loveys, oi gotta go. Parcels need a-deliverin'.

Father Jack Stapleton

Good evening.

I see that the number of entries to this blog have dropped in the wake of the recent tragedies. It would seem that many of the townsfolk are afraid that taking part in this social experiment could see them ending up like the late Mr. Peeves. However, I must insist that we, as a community, continue with our updates. We cannot give in to fear and allow it to stop us leading normal lives. We must be brave if we are to have any hope of combating these murderous unsavouries.

Now; some of the more eagle-eyed readers may notice that I mentioned 'tragedies' in the opening of this blog.

This is not a mistake on my part.



It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you all that Mr. William (Bill) Squits has passed away after being found savagely beaten in Swanson's Park. He was found yesterday evening by Professor Brane who was in the park testing out his new device to turn leaves into sponges whn he made the discovery. Suffice to say he'll be having nightmares for a week. A police investigation is underway but as of yet they have no leads. Bill is survived by his wife Miriam and our thoughts are with her at this trying time.

Fr. Jack

Olivia Neutongaye

Dear proud townspeople of Nappy Cove,

My name is Olivia Neutongay, and I'm the wife of our well respected hero policeman, Partario Neutongaye. My apologies for not entering this glittering foray into the world of technology earlier, but my job doesn't present me with a lot of opportunities for leisure activity...

You see, I, like my husband, am a police officer.

An underpaid, overworked, female police officer. In fact I finally find the time to write this blog because the changeover between my cleaning of the police station kitchen and the beginning a day of paperwork didn't dovetail as perfectly as they normally would. However I won't let this blog become a forum to air my grievances at the nature of my profession and the hierarchy within it.

The matter of justice is at hand.

As we all are sad to have heard, the tragic death of Mr. Derek Peeves, the local journalist occurred recently. And while state autopsies and the grievances of his family are still ongoing, we must look at his death in the cold hard light of the police force. Its not hard to spot the suspicious nature of his death, and it goes without saying that his demise came about from the facts his journalistic endeavours uncovered.

These discoveries have been the subject of much blogging recently, as have been the question of the tapes he made with Fr. Stapleton before his death. Well I can now confirm that the tapes made by Peeves and Stapleton are in police custody. My custody in fact. Rumours persisted that the tapes had been lost after they had not reached my husband Partario. The truth of the matter is that our young and foolhardy postmaster, Charlie Whippet, mistakenly delivered them to me.

These rumours of missing and fake tapes must desist and I will not have the name of the good and pious Fr. Stapleton tarnished. And make no mistake, the files will be re-opened on the Pixie Vaccine Incident. Nothing will stand in the way of justice.

But why did I not come forward before now you ask? The answer is simply that which I stated above. Though my profession is policing, my gender holds me back at almost every step, and the imposed duties of my gender at the Nappy Cove Police Headquarters (N.C.P.H.) denied me the time to speak out. But now things will have to change. I've been the woman behind the policemen in Nappy Cove for years, and now credit will be given where credit is due.

You can expect more from me in blogs to come. Justice will be served.

Yours in policing,

Officer Olivia Partridge Neurongaye

Dr. Orange Squamish

I must apologize for this troubled soul. He has clearly gone beyond all rational sensibility...I am afraid that I may have to seek an intervention in the case of Simple Jack.... perhaps testicular shock n' stab therapy will do the trick... who knows. And that Pixie fiasco was a set up; I was a patsy I tell you all! A PATSY!

Now, Jack can squawk and squawk, but Squamish won't blink. I was voted most likely to die alone in college, so lets just say SQAMISH CAN PLAY. Hard.



Bring it on Jacky boy, I've got the F.D.A. behind me. Who are they, you may ask? The Federal Doctors Association. 'Nuff said.



You won't get away with tarnishing my name Jack; I'll see you in hell (from heaven).


D. O.S.

Fr. Jack Stapleton

I am not the sort of man to get into a slanging match. Neither am I going to confirm nor deny any of the accusations made by the 'doctor'. However, I will say this: it's not so long ago 'doctor' that the terrible eye of public scrutiny was resting squarely on you. Shall any of us forget the Pixie Vaccine Scandel of '06??


This most recent attempt to tarnish my reputation and discredit my story has the underlying feel of a man who has sold his soul.
How many gold pieces did it take Squamish??

How much to say these things and try to turn the whole town against me? A man has died. And you're preventing justice from prevailing. Thankfully the tapes I mentioned before do exist and shall hopefully help the police in apprehending the villains in this case, and shall absolve me from any doubt.

The same cannot be said for the 'good' doctor....




"And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him."