Now I'm not going to beat around the bush and expand on the details of Mr. Peeves tragic death. Suffice to say that I am truely shocked that someone living among us, in this quiet little town, could have the capacity for such evil. Someone who has integrated themselves seemlessly into the very fabric of our community. Someone we have all come to trust and look upon as a pillar of our locality. However, this is unfortunately a cold, hard fact which we must come to terms with. If this weeks events have taught us anything, it is that no matter how genial an appearance we may be presented with, there may be something sinister lurking underneath. Vigilence is crucial.
Derek Peeves knew this. And I believe that is why he had the good sense and fore-sight to come to me and tell me everything he knew about the recent D-grade pork scandel before his untimely demise.
I remember when he arrived at my doorstep, he was not the same man he had been when I first met him. He looked thin; pale; worn out and, from the way he spoke, he seemed resigned to the fact that this shocking piece of investigatory journalism, would most likely be his last. He knew the risks in taking on those high up in the pork trade, and he was willing to pay the price. A hero he was. And a hero he shall remain.
For you see, I made taped recordings of our conversation that night, and even as I type this latest entry, they are on their way to the police station in the hands of our local Post Master, Charlie Whippet, who will see them safely into the possession of Officer Neutongaye. At last this whole sordid D-grade pork scandel can come to an end and Derek Peeves, Champion of Nappy Cove can be avenged and his killer put away.
For too long we've all had the wool pulled over our eyes by this silver-tongued devil. Too long has his sub-standard pork filled our bellies unbeknownst to us.
No longer I say.
R.I.P Derek Peeves
Oh and also, before I forget, the winners of the raffle from last weeks fair can collect their prizes between the hours of 3pm and 5pm from the parochial house.
Fr. Jack Stapleton.
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